ignorance hurts …

I can’t quite believe that it has been nearly 4 months since my last post!!

Those of you who follow my posts on Facebook will know that this hasn’t been an easy time from either myself or my family. I promise to bring you all up-to-date on what’s been happening in a future post but, today, want to address something a little more specific which has really upset me. It has also made me so angry it also appears to have propelled me out of my blogging funk!!

Today, during a conversation where one of my family was present, a comment along the lines of the following was made: treatment for Stage 4 cancer patients is pointless, it’s just a waste of time as they are going to die anyway. Whilst everyone is entitled to their own opinion and whilst this comment may not have been directed at me or my condition, I am so angry that somebody could be so ignorant and that one of my family had to witness this heartless and ignorant comment.

I have aggressive Stage 4 Triple Negative Breast Cancer, one of the most difficult breast cancers there is to treat and, over the past four months, my body has been absolutely ravaged by brain radiation, chemotherapy, steroids, antibiotics, pneumonia, constant pain and extreme fatigue.

Never once, during this time has my wonderful oncologist, Dr. S, or any of the doctors treating me suggested that continuing treatment is a waste of time. In fact, they have have done everything they can to encourage me, counsel me,  find new treatments, manage my pain and suggest alternative therapies that will help combat the effect that the ongoing chemotherapy will have on my body.

Our lives as a family have changed dramatically, instead of me being their primary care giver, they are now mine and do everything for me. I’ve had to give up a job that I absolutely loved, I can no longer drive and we have had to downsize our villa as I could no longer manage the stairs in our old villa. Planning anything is a mission as I never know whether I am going to be well enough to actually do anything until the day arrives. All of this upheaval and never once have they suggested that treatment is a waste of time or that I should consider giving up.

I am going to die at some point, that’s the grim reality of having Stage 4 cancer, I just don’t know how much time I have left … but I do know that I will never stop fighting and that the treatment, that some think is a waste of time, gives me more time with my family, which, to me, is the most important thing in the world.

Thank you to Dr. S and the wonderful team at the Comprehensive Cancer Centre at City Hospital for looking after me so well, giving me the best chance possible and for always encouraging me to never give up.

This post is dedicated to Almas, Hayley and Kelly, three very courageous women and friends of mine who have passed away from Metastatic Breast Cancer during this past year. They never gave up and continue to inspire me every day.

To  my fellow PINKLadies Metatvivors, you girls rock.

Some say ignorance is bliss, it can also be very hurtful.

Remember, always be kind.

Love always

Di xx

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3 thoughts on “ignorance hurts …

  1. Oh my darling friend… my brave warrior woman… stupid, insensitive comments from idiots just shock me.. I was at a Christmas market and the woman selling tickets at the front door looked at me and said.. ” I see you have cancer (yep, stupid question..- bald and bloated from steroids..) Oh, she continues, “Dont believe a word your oncologist tells you. They lie to you. You will die from this , you know.” I told her to F$%$ OFF. The lady behind me was so distressed by the insensitive remark , she burst into tears – I gave her a hug and she marched off to report the now embarressed ticket seller… eish! Just remember how loved you are – from all four corners of the globe. Keep fighting – you have a whole back up team of supporters rooting for you. I am one of them. And I am so thrilled to hear how loving and supportive your oncology team is… That makes all the difference.. So, sending you huge hugs, dollops of love and look forward to your next blog… love ya, girl xxxxx

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  2. I am really at a loss as to how anyone could even construct such a disgusting thought !! Clearly they have no one dealing with stage 4 in their lives- ie they have no skin in the game. . I wish that you had never read that Di.

    Here’s a guarantee for that asshole- everyone dies .

    For you, my gladiator friend- rage on..and on and on .
    You are the five star general of your army and they are all fierce and will follow you wherever you command.

    All my love
    Patricia

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